Chikara
by myLITTLEnekoSHIRO
Summary: 'You're a jerk.' I glanced up. The white-haired teen before me just smiled. Then he laughed. That was the first time I met Ukitake Jūshirō.


**Chikara is Japanese for strength.**

**Warnings: mentions of male/male sex, extreme fluffiness, a tsp of angst if you squint**

**Yayyyyy another oneshot! Now I apologize if the characters seemed too OOC. I normally write the POV's of over-the-top Bleach characters like Gin (God, he is SO MUCH fun to write a perspective from) so writing about someone as grounded as Shunsui was kinda hard. Still, it was a nice change. **

**Excuse the extreme sappy fluffiness. I wrote this while listening to the Fooly Cooly soundtrack, specifically Hybrid Rainbow. AMAZING ANIME AND AMAZING SONG!**

**Proceed and enjoy…**

'You're a jerk.'

I glanced up. The white-haired teen before me just smiled. Then he laughed. That was the first time I met Ukitake Jūshirō.

I was cheating on his sister at that time.

* * *

'Why'd you call me a jerk?'

We were having a conjoined advanced Kido class with the upperclassmen when I approached him. His sister, Yūki, as usual, was ignoring me although I could feel her eyes boring a hole in the back of my neck as I conversed with her brother. Not that I cared.

He just buried his face in a book. Oh, so he thinks he can get rid of me that easy? Well, I'll just wait until you reply, Smarty Pants.

'Kyoraku! Front and center! You're going to be the first to give us a demonstration, you lazy ass!' barked our instructor. Everyone giggled.

I swore softly.

'You won this time,' I whispered to him before I marched off. I wasn't scared of messing up. I never messed up.

As I turned, I could've sworn I saw a hint of a smile on Jūshirō's lips.

* * *

My old man was on my case again. He wanted me to be Yamaji's apprentice like Jūshirō. I him I wasn't interested. He told me I wasn't a Kyoraku. I told him I didn't want to be one.

I didn't see Jūshirō in school today.

* * *

'Am I a jerk because I cheated on your little sister?'

Was it just me or was he looking paler since he came back?

This time, he pretended he didn't hear me and continued to chat with one of his classmates. Damn, he was getting on my nerves now. This time I was going to _make _him acknowledge me.

Someone suddenly stepped in front of me. It was Yūki.

'You are such a _jerk_, Shunsui Kyoraku!' she cried out and slapped me across the face. Hard. 'How _dare _you toy with my feelings! You are an insensitive, uncouth _lout_! You don't deserve a girl like-!'

As she continued to rant while I massaged my sore cheek, a soft, tinkling laughter rang out. I recognized that.

I glanced past Yūki's shoulder and met Jūshirō's eyes. They were twinkling merrily as he laughed at my pathetic predicament. A slow smile crept across my face.

_SLAP!_

'WHAT THE HELL IS SO FUNNY, YOU MORON?!'

* * *

Jūshirō was missing again. This time I asked around. Apparently he was visiting family.

In the middle of the semester?

* * *

I wonder why his hair was so white. All his other siblings had dark hair. Why was he the odd one out?

Odd one out Ukitake Jūshirō. Pretty simple family and more siblings than you could count on your hands. Oh, and he's an orphan. Parents died a long time ago. Still, didn't stop him from being the brightest and most popular kid in the Academy. Pretty much an oddball. Heh, I'm one to talk.

Kyōraku Shunsui, at your service. Impeccable Ladies Man and a pain in the ass family so noble we probably pooped gold. Hadn't bothered to check that one yet.

All they were obsessed with was honor and the family reputation. It's why I was in the Academy in the first place. To up our reputation somehow. Well, at least I got to see hot babes and get wasted all the time.

I crashed to reality when someone dropped a book on my table. I glanced up and raised an eyebrow.

'I'll tell you why I called you a jerk after you read this,' Jūshirō mused.

I sat in stunned silence in the library for a while after he left. Then I looked down at the book. It was a book on etiquette.

* * *

'Hi.'

'Hello.'

'How are you?'

'I see you read the book.'

'Did I have a choice?'

'Ha.'

I plopped down next to him on the grass while simultaneously plucking a blade to place in my mouth for future nibbling.

'So why am I a jerk?'

'Don't like to beat around the bush, do you?'

'Nope.'

'Fine. It's because you try so hard to highlight your bad points when you have such good ones that you prefer to keep hidden.'

'Like…?'

'You're a considerate man. But you hide it behind a chauvinistic persona.'

'How do you know I'm not actually like this?'

'Because you treated my sister like a lady.'

I looked at him in surprise.

'I thought Yūki hated me.'

'You're incredibly naïve, you know that?'

I raised an eyebrow. He smiled at me. It made me feel all weird and warm inside.

'You know you look like a girl, right?'

He just laughed at me.

* * *

'I'm buying this hat.'

Shirō looked at me skeptically.

'It looks ridiculous,' he stated matter-of-factly. I grinned and jammed the sakkat onto my head.

'Exactly why I want to buy it!' I chortled and pretended to pose like one of those hobos on the street, scratching my ass occasionally. My old man would have a heart attack if he saw me like this.

Shirō was laughing at me.

'I'll do you one better,' he grinned. 'I'll buy it for you.'

He snatched it off my head and already paid the vendor before I could protest.

'You didn't have to,' I sighed. He smiled.

'I wanted to,' he countered easily.

My chest fluttered. What the hell was that?

* * *

'Is something the matter, Shun?'

'It's nothing.'

'You're sulking.'

'I don't sulk.'

'Well, you are. Tell me.'

'My old man's on my case again. Want's me to be Yamaji's apprentice.'

'But you don't want to.'

'I like my life. I don't want to change it for anything.'

Shirō gave me a thoughtful look.

'Then say no,' he said placidly and reached out to squeeze my hand. 'It's your life, Shunsui. Do what makes you happy.'

He smiled at me. I felt all tingly again.

I went to Yamaji's office that day and said yes.

* * *

'Hey, did you hear?'

'What?'

'About Ukitake-sempai! That he's in love with…Utōga!'

'Oh my gosh! He's _gay_!?'

'I wonder if they've done it…'

'That's not a very nice thing to talk about, you know.'

'K-K-Kyōraku-sempai!'

'We-we're sorry, Kyōraku-sempai! We were just-!'

'Speaking ill about one of my _closest_ friends?'

'N-n-no! We…I mean, I-!'

'Scram. And next time, check the corners before you start gossiping like fishmonger's wives.'

Shit, why was my chest aching?

* * *

'Is it true?' I suddenly blurted out.

'What is?'

'About you and Utōga…?'

Shirō froze and I instantly wished I hadn't asked. He breathed deeply.

'Darn rumors,' he joked. 'And here I thought I could escape the Academy unscathed.'

So it was true.

'Shun?'

I almost jumped when I felt his body press up against my shoulder.

'You're sulking.'

I looked up at his smiling face. Then, I leaned forward and kissed him.

When we parted he stared at me for a moment, emotionless. Finally, he closed his eyes and got up. I felt a pang of hurt.

'I'm not trying to mess with your feelings, Shirō,' I explained quickly. He exhaled slowly, making sure to avoid my gaze.

'You already have,' he said softly.

* * *

'Hey, let's do it.'

He looked at me.

'I don't do things for you out of pity. So I expect you to treat me the same.'

Ouch. Well, at least he wasn't giving me the silent treatment anymore.

'It's not out of pity,' I stressed and sidled closer on the futon. I saw his body tense up. 'I _want _to do it with you, Shirō.'

I mustered enough courage to kiss the side of his neck. He'd started wearing his hair in a ponytail so that the tail trailed over one shoulder, leaving one side completely bare and open to invitation.

He turned his head to me. Those green eyes were laughing at me.

'Prove it,' he challenged.

'Name your price,' I said confidently.

His eyes twinkled.

* * *

'You look positively ridiculous,' he laughed as I strutted down the Academy corridor. Everyone was too busy laughing up a storm to hear us talking.

'You suggested it,' I teased. I had to admit, wearing a woman's kimono wasn't bad. Nice and flowy. I even liked the flowery design. I think I might just keep it. 'So, are you going to keep your end of the bargain?'

He squirmed a little.

'It's contagious,' he murmured.

'Promise not to get addicted.'

'…But I might.'

Then he pressed his lips against mine.

* * *

He was a chick through and through; cheeks flushed a cute pink, lower lip trembling and body twitching every time I thrust into him. But the best part was when he said my name. It sounded so breathy and needy, like he wanted nothing else but "Shun".

Hair like silk, skin like snow and eyes like emeralds. He was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. And he was moaning _my_ name.

* * *

When Shirō started coughing blood in the morning I think I nearly had a panic attack. I thought I had hurt him badly and didn't know how I was going to explain it to the fourth division.

It was only after he instructed me to give him his meds that I realized this wasn't an unusual occurrence. In fact, it happened quite frequently.

'Why didn't you tell me?' I said tightly after he had rested for a couple of hours. He looked away.

'I thought you'd leave me,' he finally said. I stared in shock.

'Why the hell would I leave you?' I didn't mean to sound angry. But his words made me look heartless.

'Because if I told you to, you would.'

He really had a way of stunning me with his words. But I understood what he meant. Being the sacrificial lamb that he was, he would willingly give up our friendship so I wouldn't be burdened by his illness.

I reached out to squeeze his hands. He looked up in surprise and his eyes widened when I kissed him.

'Sorry,' I whispered. 'But I guess I broke my promise about not getting addicted.'

* * *

When I got made taicho, Shirō accompanied me to my home to break ties with my family. My reason for becoming captain wasn't for them. It was for him.

* * *

When Shirō became taicho, we celebrated with a round of drinks. And sex, of course. It was the best day of my life.

* * *

'How's Yadōmaru Lisa coming around as your fukutaicho?'

'Not bad. She reminds me of, well, me. Except with a more appealing figure.'

'You have a perfectly decent figure, Shun! Stop being so modest!'

'Only if you stop being so nice! Speaking of fukutaicho's, how's your child prodigy star coming along?'

'Kaien? A delight. I wouldn't trade him for the world.'

'Should I be jealous?'

'Should you?'

'Come over here and I'll tell you.'

'Shu-_oof_!'

I yanked a laughing Shirō into my lap before leaning down to kiss him deeply. I was now stroking his soft hair. I hope he always kept it long. It looked good on him.

'Don't get too attached to your fukutaicho,' I grumbled. 'Or I _will _get jealous.'

He just sighed blissfully and nodded as he curled up to sleep. Due to his illness he spent a lot of time sleeping. I didn't mind. He looked positively adorable sleeping anyway. Even when he snored.

I stayed with him like that until the sun went down and his caretakers came for him.

* * *

I barged into Shirō's quarters, breathing heavily. He looked up with a start.

'Lisa…' I choked. 'She's…she's been…'

His eyes widened.

As I fell to my knees, he was already at my side to cradle my head against his chest and whisper soothing words to calm me down. My breathing was erratic and my heart hammered against my chest. I had never become this undone in my life.

'She doesn't deserve to die,' I murmured. 'When they announced her execution, all I could do was nod and walk away. I couldn't…I couldn't…'

'Hush,' he tutted, stroking my wild hair and kissing my forehead. 'You must bear it. It is why you were chosen to become a taicho. Because you were strong enough to bear heartbreak.'

'Nobody is strong enough against heartbreak. Nobody.'

'You are.' He lifted my head so that I looked into his gentle green eyes. 'Stop hiding your good points, Shun. You _are _strong.'

His eyes were looking at me strangely. I couldn't pinpoint what exactly but it wasn't his normal look.

He kissed me tenderly then, as if hoping to wash away my worries. And I let him, hoping that he could.

* * *

My heart skipped a beat when Yamaji announced that Lisa and the others had escaped. I managed to hide my smile but inside, I was bursting with happiness.

I glanced to my side. Shirō was giving me that strange look again. And again, I couldn't tell why.

* * *

Kaien Shiba was dead.

I was half-expecting Shirō to come barging into my quarters like I had. Then I heard he had been seriously injured when his fukutaicho died. So basically I had to be the one to barge into his chambers. Again.

He looked sicklier than ever. Even his skin was tinged a faint green. It was then that I realized how much Shirō suffered every day, fighting this debilitating disease of his. And yet, he still had the strength to smile and laugh.

Shirō was wrong to say I was the strong one. I could never be as strong as him.

'I'm glad you came,' he sighed, eyes lidded with sleep and weakness.

'I'll come again later. You need to rest.'

'I'll be fine.' He struggled to sit up. 'How do I look?'

'Like hell.'

He smiled slowly. It looked pained.

'You never fail to make me smile, Shunsui,' he sighed, leaning back on his bed of pillows.

I frowned. He called me by my full name. He never did that. I walked up to him and pushed a few strands of his hair behind his ear.

'You're sulking,' I pointed out.

'I do not sulk.'

'Well, you are. Tell me.'

Nostalgia had a funny way of disguising itself as karma sometimes.

He played with the edge of his blanket, eyes downcast.

'I want to end our relationship,' he said quietly.

I waited for him to continue. He did. He sounded strained, like he was trying to keep his emotions in check.

'I saw how close you were to Yadōmaru-fukutaicho. I wasn't jealous. I actually found it endearing. But not so much when they were going to execute her. And especially not when you caved in to your emotions. So it had me thinking, that if it was me instead of Yadōmaru, what would you do?'

I just stood there, mouth agape, stunned. He just kept staring at his lap.

'I lost Kaien in the most horrific way you can lose a dear one,' he murmured. 'And again, I thought, what if it was you instead of Kaien? What would I do? How could I go on living? Do you get what I'm trying to say, Shunsui?'

He looked at me pleadingly, wanting me to understand his wishes. Of course I knew what he was trying to say. We were the role models of the Gotei. We were supposed to stand as strong and as proudly as the pillars that support its structure. If we could not, then how was the rest of the Seireitei supposed to rely on us to protect them?

'We'll bear with it, Shirō,' I finally said in a quiet tone. 'I know we can.'

He inclined his head and smiled bitterly.

'It is time we accepted that we are only human, Shunsui, and susceptible to heartbreak,' he replied morosely.

'I thought you said to be strong against heartbreak.'

'And you said nobody is strong against heartbreak. And you're right. So the only way to combat it is to keep a distance from those you love.'

'…Is this what you want, Shirō?'

He hesitated for a minute. Then, he nodded. I bowed my head, my hat hiding my face.

'As you wish.'

I left without another word.

* * *

'You're looking better, Jūshirō.'

The white-haired taicho glanced up at me in amusement, in the middle of a calligraphy sketch.

'Kiyone did say my face was glowing today,' he remarked and touched one of his cheeks in thought. I plopped down next to him, glancing at his work.

'"Strength",' I read. 'Care to explain why you made this?'

He just hummed as he drank his cup of green tea. I grinned. The situation immediately reminded me of our times in the Academy. When he ignored me for the sake of teasing.

'Do you think we did the right thing?'

He was staring into the depths of his cup.

'We're still smiling, aren't we?' I remarked casually. A hint of smile graced his lips.

'That's why,' he murmured.

'Shirō?'

He glanced up in surprise at the old pet name. I took the opportunity to kiss him.

He let me.

* * *

**I've never written something so sappy…should I be proud? XD**

**Anyways, thanks for sticking around till the end to read! You make me smile ^^**

**Btw, sakkat is the name of the hat Kyoraku wears in the anime/manga. For real!**


End file.
